Coaching 1-on-1s: How to Empower Your Fundraising Team (part 1)

Hey there, and welcome back!

I’m Alin Dinu. I get out of bed in the morning to inspire people to communicate better so we can create a world filled with nourishing relationships.

At its core, culture is all about behavior - how people treat one another and the values that shine through. It often mirrors the leaders (who set the tone), and once it’s set, it can be as hard to change as a deep-rooted habit. It is created on the field, during team meetings and in 1-on-1s.

A 1-on-1 session can have multiple formats and goals, like mentoring, giving feedback, training, etc. Today we will be looking on these meetings through a coaching lens. In the last 8 years, I’ve had over two thousand 1-on-1s with people of all ages, both in and outside of our field.

In this article you will find out the best practices, strategies and principles on what it means to wear a coaching hat to your 1-on-1s so that facers feel connected and inspired. It is writen in a Q&A format and has two parts. The first part covers mostly the principles and practices, whereas the second part will focus on the strategies and skills on how to run a proper coaching session.

For more clarity, I will refer to the person who facilitates the 1-on-1 as a Coach and the person who benefits from it as a Coachee.

1. What is coaching

Coaching is the art of supporting Coachees to achieve their goals or overcome their challenges. It is different than training, mentoring or consulting because you are not there to give advice or solve problems, but rather create an environment where the Coachee finds their own solution. Think of it less as a drill sergeant and more as a taxi driver. The taxi can’t take you anywhere if you don’t know the destination.

2. Why Have 1-on-1 Meetings in a coaching format?

People stay in a teams or organizations because their needs are met. One on one sessions - done with the ‘Coach hat’ on - bring stability, connection, self-worth, and support people in their growth. If you look at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, that pretty much covers them, from base to peak.

I worked with Save the Children Romania for almost two years. When I joined, there were seven fundraisers, and when I left, the team had grown to 50 nationwide. I did a lot of good things, failed at even more, but one of the best decisions was focusing on people’s well-being by prioritizing healthy relationships. Looking back now, I see how coaching played a pivotal role in that.

3. What are the fundamental principles?

There are more than three but these are a good place to start from:

a.       The Client Is the Expert – You’re not there to provide solutions or advice. Instead, create a space where Coachees can uncover solutions themselves.

Starting out on this path, one of the mistakes I was doing was pressuring myself to find solutions for the clients. After my first training in 2018, I realized how this approach was crippling the Coachees. Rather than create dependency, you want to empower people making their own decisions and being responsible

b.      No judging – Even if it’s tempting, avoid judging the Coachee. This builds a trusting relationship where they feel safe to open up.

Most often than not, people feel when they are judged and raise an emotional wall. This wall creates distrust and hinders the Coachee’s capacity of find solutions. Even worse, it can ruin the relationship.

c. Their Responsibility, Not Yours – Ultimately, the actions are theirs, not yours. You’re there as a guide.

Working with my first clients, I used to send them reminders and memos quite often. I really wanted them to succeed. But that was me taking more responsibility for their actions than them. If people act because of you, on the long run it’s not sustainable. You want your Coachees to be autonomous and empowered. In fundraising, having people do the work because you push them, can be tiring and inefficient.

4. How Long Should a 1-on-1 Last?

If you’re paid by the hour, it might be tempting to have longer sessions. If you’re on a regular work contract, you might feel like keeping them as short as possible - especially with everything else on your plate.

The length depends on the topic and the person you’re coaching. Sometimes it takes 15 minutes, other times, it might need several sessions. Whatever the case, the recommendation is to keep sessions under 50 minutes and remember that you are there mainly for the Coachee.

So far we’ve explored the foundational theory of coaching within 1-on-1 meetings in face-to-face fundraising. I would very much like to hear from you! What have you found most useful so far? What are you already doing and what would you like to implement? Share your insights in the comments or shoot me an email at Alin@didof2f.com - I’m all ears!

But don’t go anywhere just yet! In the second part, we’re diving into the practical side of the meetings. How to prepare the session and what are the skills that you need to spark growth and connection. Looking forward to your feedback and comments on that as well.

Here is the link to the second part!