How to Resolve Conflict Without Creating Losers

Where there are people, there will be conflicts. It’s inevitable. Even when we try to avoid them, conflicts still drain our energy. But they can also be an opportunity, to understand, to grow, and even to strengthen relationships. The key? Handling them the right way, with people’s needs in mind.

Whether you're dealing with a conflict yourself or trying to navigate tensions between fundraisers on your team, having a solid system can make all the difference. It’s the gap between a team that falls apart and one that comes out stronger.

So how do you resolve conflicts without anyone losing? It’s not easy, but it’s possible. I’ve been building teams since 2017, testing and refining different approaches. And the one that has worked consistently is the 6-step method from Thomas Gordon.

Here’s how it goes:

1. Define the Conflict – Understand What’s Really Happening

This is the most crucial step. You need clarity. Avoid labels like “lazy” or “stubborn.” Instead, practice active listening - pay attention not just to words but to emotions and needs underneath.

A simple trick is to look at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. If two of your top fundraisers are constantly stepping into each other’s conversations, the real issue might not be competition. Maybe one is financially struggling and desperately needs bonuses. Maybe the other craves status and recognition. Identify the unmet needs, and you’ll begin to reach the heart of the problem.

2. Brainstorm Solutions – No Judging Yet

Once the issue is clear, list as many possible solutions as you can. This is not the time to analyze or reject ideas - just gather them.

For the example above, solutions could include the following. Write everything down. Don't filter yet:

• Splitting locations

• Working together and sharing sign-ups fairly

• Rotating lead roles in conversations

3. Evaluate the Solutions – Time to Cut What Doesn’t Work

Now, go through your list and check each option. Ask, “Any reason why this wouldn’t work?” Be honest but constructive. Cross out what’s unrealistic. Keep what makes sense.

4. Choose a Solution – It Has to Work for Both

Don’t try to push a solution on the other person and don’t accept one you really don’t want - both of you need to freely choose. A resolution forced by one side isn’t a real resolution.

5. Plan & Take Action – Together

Now that you have a solution, what’s next? Who does what? The clearer, the better.

• Maybe the team leader ensures these two aren’t scheduled together.

• Maybe they create a fair way to split sign-ups when working as a pair.

• Maybe they divide locations and stick to their own zones.

One crucial thing here: trust. Instead of threatening consequences if someone doesn’t follow through, focus on commitment and accountability.

6. Check Results – What You Don’t Measure, You Can’t Improve

Set a time to follow up. A few days, a week, a month, depends on the situation. But don’t skip this step. If the solution isn't working, tweak it.

Conflict Is Inevitable. How You Handle It Makes the Difference.

Teams that last are not the ones without conflict. They’re the ones that resolve it well. If you follow these six steps, conflicts stop being destructive and start becoming opportunities - to learn, to connect, and to build a stronger, more emotionally intelligent team.

This method works horizontally (between teammates) and vertically (between different levels of hierarchy). And when senior leaders approach conflict this way, they rely less on power and more on genuine collaboration.

At the end of the day, you want people to stay with long-term. That means ensuring that even in conflict, their needs are heard and respected.

What works for you? Drop a comment or send me an email at alin@didof2f.com.

Until next time, stay inspired and Trust The Process!

Conflict resolution – no loose method

1 – definirea prombleie – atunic and fiecare isi exprima problema pe indelete. E nevoie sa eviti sa folosesti etichete si sa expirmi comprotamente si efectul lor asupra ta. De asemne, ai nevoie sa te asiguri ca ai itneles ce spuen celallat, deci folsoreai ascutlarii active este musai

de ce este important asta pentru tine +ascuptare active – aici se clarifica nevoile. Pentru a intelege nevoile te poti uita la piramida lui moslwo

2 – brainstorm solutions – dupa ce ai venitlat ce era de ventilat, poti puri sim simpu amandoi sa va ganditi la solute icare ar putea sa functioneze. In capitlol astanici macar nu te gandesti la altveca decat l anumarul solutiilor -sa fie cat mai multe. Alernam, mergi tu col si eu dicnolo nu mai merge nimeni aciiet

Aici este amestecat uneori cu evaluarea care boictoeaza procesul – deci fii mindful la asta

3 – evaluara solutiilor – le luati pe rand si le evaluate, aici si in fucntie de nevoile fiecaruia.

Cross out any possible solution that might not work. Test the other by asking “any reason why this might not work?

4 – alegeera unei solutii – amandoi alegeti una sau mai mutle solutii. Nu impinge o soplutie pe cealalta persoana si nici nu accepta ca e isa faca asta cu tine. Ai grija sa alegeti una cu care amandoi vreti sa mergeti inainte

5 – plan and take the action – amandoi decideti fiecare ce face sip ana cand. Este cel mai bine sa ai incredere ca fiecare o sa fac ace a zis dect sa vorbesti despre ce conscetinte vei itnnalni daca nu va tineti de cuvant

6 – verify results – un pas foarte important estesa verific soltuiile. Decideti asupra unui timp in care sa va itnaorceti si sa verificati cum s-au desfaruat lucrurile

Si astia sunt cel 6 pasi in rezolvrea unui conflict in care nimeni nu pierde. La inceput poate ajuta sa ai o foaie si un pix sayuun facilitator ca sa te asiguri ca urmezi pasii intocmai, dar dup ace prinzi putina experienta, realizewzi ca lucurile curg foarte smooth.

2 fundrasieri foarte competitive se baga unul peste celallat peste doantori si peste cneveratii atucn cand sunt pe teren.

1 – prolema este ca este tensiue intre cei mai buni 2 fundrasieri sau teameladeri de teren pe care ii ai pentru ca se cearta, se baga unul peste celalalt isi iau donatorii si se baga peste coenceatiile lor. Astfel  pierd amandoi donatori sit u perzi perofmranta

In pasul 1 e nevoie si sa clafiifci nevoiel de ce fac ei asta? Unul poate face pentru ca are nvoei de bani extra luna asta si altul pentru sattut sau tot pentru bani. Uita te peste pirdamida lui moslow

2 – care sunt cateva soltui care ar putea sa mearga pentru amandoi? Sa aibe perimetru, sa nu se mai bage decat invitati, sa aboedeze impreuan si sa imparta, sa traga la sorti, sa nu mai iasa pe teren imrpeunaetc

3 – taie le pe cele cre nu merg si discutatile pe cele care au ramas in pciioare. Care sunt bune pentru amandoi, cu care amandoi ati merge inainte. Spre exemplu sa abordati impreun a si sa faceti un algortim de impartirea mandatelor la final de zi sau sa aveti perimetru in locatrie

4 – alegerae unei solutii sau unor solutii este importanta atat timp cat amandoi sunteti de acord cu ea sau cu ele

5 – ce re fiecare de facut mai departe petnru implementarea solutiei sau solutiilor? Aici este foarte mult despre sa ai incredere si nu despre ce consecinte apliati daca nu va tineti de cuvant. Spre exemplu saptammana viitoare cand ies pe teren cu tine impart de la inceput locatia in 2 sau daca am discutat sa abordam impreuna 3 ore, am grija sa clariicam cum impartim mandatele, etc

6 – dacanu masori nu pot isa imbuantatesti. Dupa cateva saptamani sau maim ult, depinzand de rpoblema, decideti la o datal care sa va reintalniti si sa evaluate rezulgtaetle. Trebui adaptat ceva, reluat pasul 2 sau ati rezolvat?